I had a brief return of the gout monster three days ago, which is why I didn't end up posting for a week, although this time, thanks in part to your suggestions, I was considerably more prepared than usual.
As well as hitting the celery as people here suggested, I also did some research on planetary/elemental correspondences and herbalism, and remembered my own natal chart; 12th house (feet) Aries (fire), and Mars (fire) in Aquarius in 11. (Shins, ankles)
In English, what that means is that I have a more or less permanent case of dehydration in my lower extremities. I've made some more extensive modifications to my diet to include a lot more things with watery associations, (a banana every morning, avocados fairly regularly because they're cheap at the moment, cherries periodically, and lots of chamomile and/or celery tea) as well as now cutting out the pizza entirely, which I will confess I went back on after the initial attack of gout left. (lots of salt and condensed meats which worsen dehydration) As well as reducing (though not cutting out entirely, because I do need them) the Martian herbs. (Garlic, ginger)
I also eat at home more often, and if I do want fast food, the only place I go to now is Subway, which, although probably still somewhat questionable, is the only fast food place in existence that I know of that can go close to claiming to be genuinely nutritious.
The result is that over the last few days, the gout has gradually reduced in intensity, to the point where it is now almost entirely (although not 100%) gone. I am anticipating that by remaining on my modified diet, I will be able to manage it more or less indefinitely.
I know most people laugh at astrology, but I tend to find that if I trace something back far enough as far as the correspondences are concerned, I can usually match it with something that empirical science does know about.
Not only for gout, but if any of you have any other medical problems which you haven't been able to get conventional help for, I'd recommend having a look at your own natal chart. The GP I went to was entirely baffled by the cause of the gout, since according to him my bloodwork and kidney were fine. The chart can sometimes show up the causes for things in places which a mainstream doctor probably wouldn't think to look.